Oh man doesn’t the ego like to stink up a tantrum when we are wondering, or worse KNOW someone else is speaking of us poorly.
I recently had a situation where I could feel myself getting so indignant. Someone had said some things about me, that I thought were unfair, incorrect and my god wasI pissed off. I thought, if I can just get in front of this person, we can talk this through. They’ll see it differently (and hopefully, stop saying these mean things about me).
Why though? Because the ego thinks this is a really creamy idea. The heart doesn’t really mind. The ego will tell us our heart hurts. But really the heart is very understanding and gentle and knows all us humans say stupid stuff when feeling small about ourselves, when feeling threatened and when deeply worried about what other people think of us. We lash out. We try to stake out some turf for ourselves. We hope others can feel as yucky as we are so then at least it’s not so lonely in ego-ville.
The thing about it is, that when something comes from the ego in one person, it’s likea red flag to the ego of another person. So we want to be really careful that we don’t buy into this. It’s a lower grade vibrational effect, shimmying and reflecting from one person until we can be blinded and buy into the whole ego game ourselves.
Please note, we also want to ensure we don’t become unaccountable, and avoid taking responsibility if there’s some truth to what is being said, and perhaps check ourselves. Maybe there’s a lovely lesson in this for us. Don’t bypass the whole thing because ‘we are above all this’, because my friend, that’s just another statement from the ego!
But you can try this…
I was having a little tantrum to Jeff Kober about the whole situation, and if I am honest, I was covertly fishing for something along the lines of him saying ‘god, this person is awful aren’t they’ which would have made me feel justified for about 2 seconds then awful ongoing.
Instead, Jeff said to me along these lines; “Can you allow yourself to be so expansive,that you can just sit with the level of discomfort that knowing these things are being said and it is bringing up stuff for you. Without having to change it. Without having to justify yourself. Can you just recognise the humanity in it all, and be broad enough to take all of that on?”. Instantly, all the heat left me. I felt something huge shift. Because of course we can always encompass more. We can always become more expansive than a moment (even if ongoing) of discomfort.
I’ve thought about it a lot. And the saying ‘just be the bigger person’ has a hierarchy to it I don’t like. But what if it actually meant being more expansive about incidents and life, as in so big and broad you can hold it all and still stay connected to the heart.
Sent with love,