I’m sometimes surprised at how critical we can be of each other and of ourselves, myself included. How our expectations, (that we have likely never even verbalised) are the benchmark, how instantly we need to be gratified and how quick we are at passing comment or giving feedback, usually uninvited.
Brene Brown reminds us that it helps when we always assume that everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve got – ourselves included, there’s no point debating this – it works out better when we accept this as an underlying truth always. When we’re fraught with emotions like frustration, shame, anger, guilt navigating our way to this point and then beyond in to the warm, loving state of compassion can be tough. We want relief from the discomfort and we’ll react, usually via our animal nature to get it. Any chance we get to pause between the feeling of the emotion and then the behaviour we choose to follow that emotion is welcome. This is our opportunity to gather options and choose our response. The more we choose differently, the more rewiring that will take place, of our habits, of our brains and of our outcomes.
Combining compassion with boundaries is the ultimate. Accountability of self and others with compassion, curiosity and staying vulnerable and open. We’re all a work in progress and doing the best we can moment to moment.
Brene Brown talks about having a strong back and a soft front…
“The strong back is having grounded confidence and healthy boundaries. The soft front is staying vulnerable and curious. The mark of a wild heart is living out these paradoxes in our lives. It’s showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, and, above all else, being both fierce and kind.”
Our strength comes, not from our critical minds, our judgment or our righteousness it comes from inside, from our true selves, our values and our Being-ness, this is what gives us the foundation and permission to let go and soften, to be gentle and kind with each other and ourselves.