When I first started writing these little letters to our students, I felt the deepest shame. Who the hell was I to share thoughts? I was so keen to move past this bad feeling though, inspired by mentors and teachers who got out of their own way and committed to writing anyway. I remember asking Jeff Kober, and him laughing heartily and saying ‘oh dear god Jacqui, most people say ‘Jeff, man, your newsletters are too long, they’re too frequent and I only read the quotes at the top’ which is the only bit I didn’t write’ and broke into more laughter. He encouraged me to keep writing because even if it feels awful, that’s the whole point.
Because the point of doing something uncomfortable and breaking down our ego isn’t to feel more shame. It’s to experience the grace that we get to feel after we get out of our own way. Shame comes only from mistaken thinking. Thinking we can shift.
I remember when I was 15 and I attended samba classes with my mum, because she wanted a partner. I went with her not because I wanted to samba, but to be with her, and support her, whilst she got well, well out of her comfort zone. Funnily, at the time I thought she was sooooo brave for someone ‘so old’, and that age was the exact age I am right now.
So, I ask you, what’s something you can do that feels vastly out of your comfort zone, if for no other purpose to acknowledge how damn loud our own ego’s can get. To move beyond the ‘not good enough BS’ that we entertain all the time. To move past shame and into grace.
Sent with love,