I always love the openness, determination and innocence of children learning to do things – walking, drawing, eating, playing, dancing, singing – done so unselfconsciously it’s delightful.
Yet as we grow up we tend to shift toward a more protected version of ourselves, more guarded, more hesitant with a much greater desire for safety and comfort. Left unchecked we can find ourselves grappling with overthinking, perfectionism and indecision, all enemies of creativity, innovation and growth. It signals a shift from an internal to external orientation, the sense of self anchored in identity and the way we are seen by others. Or more likely, the way that we perceive how others see us. The weight of expectation can be daunting, with the treasures of love, happiness and connection so important and vital that conservatism seems only appropriate. In reality, this misplaced protection sees us missing out on those very treasures we seek.
Coming out of hiding to create, to feel, to grow can seem dangerous, there is a distinct lack of control, or at least the illusion of control is pierced. Taking that first step can be the toughest, our inner critic can get shouty, tempting withdrawal.
Some things I have learned that can help get you going when feeling stuck, indecisive or plagued by perfectionism…
- Be curious – having a beginners mind when you approach not just new things but almost anything sets up a desire to find out more, to experiment and to see what happens with all outcomes being interesting.
- Be generous – to yourself and others. Extend kind thoughts and words, assume we’re all doing our best in any moment.
- Separate your self from your behaviour – know that whether you fail or succeed it won’t change who you are at your essence.
- Feel the fear and Be Brave – it is highly unlikely that you will never feel fear, so rather than trying to avoid it, feel it and then embrace your bravery at the same time.
- Just do one thing – even if you take the smallest, most tiniest step, it counts.
- Focus on doing the right thing, not getting it right – taking the action always has greater weighting, mastery comes later.
Growth and evolution is our natural state, this still takes courage but the rewards are worth it.
Love,
Jo x