Acceptance is derived from the Latin word ‘acquiēscere’ which means to to find rest in. In today’s day and age, rest is not something we are accustomed to dedicating a lot of time to, and perhaps neither is acceptance. It’s a beautiful thought though isn’t it, that we can rest gently into a situation, an outcome, a person, an attitude.
‘My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations’ noted Michael J. Fox.
When we look at acceptance, what’s happening is that we are in disbelief that whatever is occurring in a moment in time should not be occurring. And we’re shocked, or hurt, or resentful and filled with frustration. Cue any angry emotion here really.
When it comes to wanting a situation to go our way, from big things like a huge project being realised down to daily small things like our kids getting ready for school faster I find we are in general becoming less tolerant of ‘our vision’ not being met. I hear this from students all the time, and I also notice my own angst over things where I should know better.
I have been pondering if this is down to the influx of ‘you can do it’ hype in the media and the self help industry. I mean if we are to believe what we are being told, NOTHING is stopping us from being beyond human, wealthy and bursting with happiness. We have a continual parade of rags to riches stories, entrepreneurs aged 6 who have made millions (ok I’m exaggerating here..slightly) and we’re barraged with advertisements and plugs for stuff that will make us better people apparently. Add to this that there are incredible people like Tony Robbins and Seth Godin (who I personally think amazing and admire) constantly telling us to not give up! To Try harder! That we can do it!
At times I buy into this as much as the next person. I listen to a super awesome podcast and nearly wet my pants with the hype of it all. At how much harder I should try. And convince myself that rejection is simply one step closer to where I should be.
And then I calm down and go back to my roots of Vedic knowledge. Where we follow charm and pick up the cues of the universe. When we de-excite and listen to what is really going on. Sometimes when things are gobsmackingly hard it’s as they weren’t meant to be. When nature gives us little signs, little hints, we take note and act. I have been through this process so many times now that my intuition is honing in much better on when something just isn’t meant to be – right now. It doesn’t mean forever necessarily. When we do this our acceptance increases.
The other factor in this for me is expectations. Generally false ones that everything is meant to be going 100% our way 110% of the time. This is a recipe for disaster in the acceptance arena. I read a lot about having no expectations and therefore no disappointments, this doesn’t align with my thinking fully, but it is interesting food for thought.