Have you ever listened to all the thoughts going on in your head? I sat in the most beautiful garden last week on my little Retreat, overlooking a huge pond, and felt such peace. For a small moment, there were no thoughts. And what comes after this, is always – thoughts. Slowly, quietly at first, and then louder, came all the thoughts. They’re a never ending stream. Mine were, with barely a pause in between (sometimes they come so hard and fast they overlap); ‘I wonder if I’ll see that giant kangaroo again – I wonder where kangaroos sleep at night- I should google that later – I am so glad I don’t have internet here – I kind of wish I did though – cause then I could google that – I should have a cup of tea – but it’s so nice sitting here – I should have brought my book so I could read here – but it’s too cold anyway – shit I forgot to email so and so – I wonder if anyone has booked into the London course – the chickens here don’t seem to lay that many eggs – should we take Jeff and Adele to Tasmania – what should I have for dinner later – I should try to eat more healthy – I am getting cold but it’s so pretty – we need to get a gas heater for home…etc
ON AND ON AND ON they go…
If we pay attention to them, we then have to brand them positive or negative, and then we print that out into the body. We bind ourselves to the thoughts. They become a reality. They in turn create their own micro waterfall, cascading new thoughts. But mostly it’s just the same old nonsense. Being in our minds is like having a small child running around that is constantly commenting on anything and everything. Which is cute at first, but damn annoying in the long run. As kids we learn this is inappropriate – to keep jabbering on with nonsense and we are told so – a lot.
Anyway, what ends up happening is that due to this, we keep the thoughts inside. And they keep playing around and around and around and we believe them. That voice is so constantly present, dictating, creating opinions, getting upset, chucking tantrums. And for most of us, until someone points out that this voice is not really us, we had no idea. We thought that constant dictation was actually real, that it was us. But it’s just a voice in our heads. Which begins to make us think well hang on, it’s only craaaaazzzzy people that have voices in their head. So yes, that then makes all of us crazy.
We are also more crazy if we think we have to pay credence to that voice in our head. If we buy into it dictating our moods, and our behaviours, and our ideas.
The key is to pay less attention to the crazy. Something I have been experimenting with is treating it like a small toddler. After I heard my voice getting louder whilst sitting peacefully by the pond, I literally said (yes, to myself in my head, like a crazy person) ‘yes, that is all very interesting, and important, but I have something else I need to put my attention on now, so you can quieten down’. And it did. And I brought my awareness back to the present and felt the peace again.
(The next question is who is governing the ability to be with or without thoughts. Let’s come to that later).
I have found the ignoring of the thoughts easier when in nature,when relaxed and when not fatigued. The challenge is when we’re tired and cranky and contracted. All of a sudden the voice telling us all about WHY we are tired and cranky feels so real. The key is to keep at it. “Shhhhh now”, gently, like we would speaking to a little worked up toddler.
As Michael Singer says, “Your inner growth is completely dependent upon the realisation that the only way to find peace and contentment is to stop thinking about yourself. You’re ready to grow up when you finally realise the “I” who is always talking will never be content. It’s always has a problem with something…the bottom line is you’ll never be free of problems until you are free from the part within that has so many problems”.
Sent with love,