This is a little game I play with myself, ‘what’s my greatest fear in this’. I’ve found in every situation there is some niggling fear or something more claustrophobic and suffocating, inhibiting my ability to present. So I play the game. I start identifying my fear, and then asking, ‘is this true?’. It’s insanity what the mind and ego will tell us unless we ask ourselves the question. It’s like a slow bubbling to the surface of all that is happening in the subconscious.
As a small and recent example, I was really worried about competing in the karate tournament (I never got to compete in the end anyway, read about that HERE). My fears were many… I would let down my Sensei (definitely not true, he would be more let down by my pedantic worrying!). I would be humiliated in front of everyone, this one likely true hahaha but I have been so humiliated before, and being a chicken is far more humiliating. I would humiliate my Sensei, which he is beyond. I would forget the kata, which was possible but hugely unlikely. All this nonsense was shifting around beneath my immediate attention, creating anxiety and tension. Bringing my fears to the surface helped me address that they weren’t true, or real, and then they were able to shrink.
I’ve done this practice with much bigger situations or whenever I find my behaviour is out of whack or I’ve been anxious or felt strange, once ending with some craziness like Arran will leave me and once that Marley and I won’t be close as she gets older. This stuff was fuelling some gritty behaviour that ironically was heading me right into the result that my fear was!
By bringing it to the surface, we can pop those bubbles and create some stillness and calm again. It’s a wonderful practice, you can use it anytime you feel misaligned and confused, to bring clarity and freedom from being gripped by something that wasn’t even true in the first place.
Sent with love,