A School for Creativity, Consciousness & Clarity

L E T T E R from Emily – The Person I Am

How many of us have tried to be shapeshifters, fitting some kind of mould to be more liked, loved, and accepted? Somewhere along the road we learnt that there was a theme, a thread that ran through human interactions, those who smiled, didn’t ‘make a scene’ and were agreeable under all circumstances were safe and liked. Who’s ever said yes to something while every cell in your body is screaming no, or laughed at a joke you actually found offensive.

We do this all the time in workplaces, socially and even with our nearest and dearest. I know I spent a large portion of my life doing this. Once I learnt to meditate my self-awareness naturally started to expand, these behaviours and habits that once flew under the radar were slowly brought to the surface. They started to become undeniable and incredibly uncomfortable. Overtime, I started to see these moments of shapeshifting as an opportunity to really practice breaking the mould. This is a lifelong practice and in it, you slowly, bit by bit, start to form a better idea of the person you really are. If someone was to ask me ‘What kind of person do you want to be?’ I’d have a really hard time answering that, of course I want to be kind, compassionate, fun and all of those fundamental aspects of a fulfilled human being. But I don’t think there is really an answer to this question, I want to be the person I am, and I can only discover this by running the experiment of using all interactions with others and myself as a means to come a little closer to what feels right for me.

Now when I find myself shapeshifting, If I can slow down enough to catch it happening, I stop, mid-sentence, mid-reaction and I ask myself how I truly feel about the situation before I respond. The pause is often so small people don’t even realise, and when they do, it often leads to a much richer experience for both of us. If anyone of you who have learnt Integrated Meditation experiencing this kind of expanded awareness and insight into your life, welcome it! Its a truly wonderful part of the practice and as uncomfortable as it may feel, it is taking you to bigger and better places!

With love,

Emily x

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