I really enjoyed Jill Soloway’s book She Wants It, and so highly recommend it. In particular, her honesty was so refreshing. Where she had fallen down, where she had been misaligned, where her ego had hindered her. Also her joys and delights in the creative process, family life, being a working woman. She artfully and succinctly is very honest without being self-indulgent. She seems comfortable with being uncomfortable. And that unto itself is inspiring. The path of honesty and truth is sometimes uncomfortable, and is about being honest and truthful within that discomfort, about that discomfort too.
I studied with one of my teachers Sri M over the weekend, just been in London. Sri M said that people who said they had absolutely no ego, were definitely speaking from their ego! He said in essence, that he was always conscious of his ego, and keeping it in check, and he was being so genuine and was also a little uncomfortable in this admission. There was a little ripple through the audience of laughter as you could feel everyone had the same fear, that our egos would overtake us. Sri M being so honest about his own dealings with his ego made him so relatable, and the questions that came from the audience, therefore, were really genuine. He wasn’t faking it so no one else felt the need either. Because this is the thing about honesty – it inspires more honesty. In the same way, being untruthful makes others feel doubt, and also then dishonesty.
If we want to be true leaders, we must start with the truth delivered with clarity and discernment. It is the way to authenticity and integrity. So we can in every moment ask, can I be truthful and honest here, in a way that doesn’t hurt others? As Sri M said in response to one of the questions asked by a woman about her need to be honest with others; if at the moment you’re being honest, even when well-intentioned will cause hurt, then it is better to be silent. Being truly honest means also being really honest with ourselves.
Sent with love,
Jac x