I’m not sure exactly what happened a long time back, it was likely having a small child, being a single parent and being self-employed that crushed me, but I stopped doing ‘things I loved for no reason‘. Everything I was doing had so much purpose, so much doing. Even meditation was done to be less stressed, and I clung to it, forcing results like juice from an orange. I’ve always been a creative person, engaging in art and design from such a small age, never spectacular at it, just average. And I think a combination of little time and the dawning realisation that I wasn’t actually that amazing snuffed out a little light for a while. It took some time for me to create again for the sake of creating, and for nothing else. Now I spend a tonne of my time doing just that. Tiny projects that go nowhere, that fill me with immense delight. That makes my soul sing. In fact, these Letters came from a part of that curiosity, having no idea where they would lead or if anyone would even read them, I just kept putting words down, out of love for words.
If this is sounding familiar, I recommend getting deeply involved again in something you used to adore and stopped, or picking up something brand new. As Anthony De Mello says, “You must cultivate activities that you love. You must discover work that you do, not for its utility, but for itself, whether it succeeds or not, whether you are praised for it or not, whether you are loved and rewarded for it or not, whether people know about it and are grateful to you for it or not. How many activities can you count in your life that you engage in simply because they delight you and grip your soul? Find them out, cultivate them, for they are your passport to freedom and to love.”
Written with love,