I like to bring to mind, all the times I was weird socially because I had family stuff going on behind the scenes. Was sensitive because I was simply overtired with a baby who didn’t sleep. Acted odd at work while going through a divorce. Overreacted to a situation because I was distressed about a friend – a reaction that had nothing to do with the situation whatsoever. When I was short and shitty with a stranger because someone I knew well had just screwed me over.
We are wildly strange little beings us, human. Compartmentalising and emotionally regulating ourselves is big work when we are calm, balanced, resilient, and strong. Stack up a few challenges too close together and we are likely to see cracks, and then big breaks in our ability to keep our cool.
I do this little exercise because these moments are nothing I’m proud of – and they keep me compassionate. Because we have to each remember as humans we have trauma, and abortions and miscarriages and domestic violence and death and cancer and sexual assault and suicide and betrayal happening all around us that we don’t tell others about. There’s also all the little stuff. The continual stream of small challenges we deal with. We front up and try to keep it together, but some days the dam breaks.
So let’s cut ourselves, and everyone else some slack. And remember that we too have pretty horrible moments we wish we could do differently. As we all do. So if you’re caught in someone else’s, reduce judgement and don’t jump to conclusions.
With love,
Jac x
L E T T E R from Jac – The Pieces We Don’t Know
