I’ve never met anyone like Arran, he literally doesn’t ever consider what anyone thinks of him. He’s incredibly neat and stylish and takes great care of himself, and on occasion slightly vain, but worrying about what others think of him, means nothing, it doesn’t enter his awareness.
I think I might have literally exited the womb simultaneously talking, fretting and very excited about new life and what not. So Arran’s behaviour was very mysterious to me. I have gone through crippling stages of worrying what others thought, and it affected my behaviour and my attitudes deeply and I think contributed to my anxiety. I knew it was holding me back but I couldn’t seem to let it go.
So I pushed him lots to describe how he had managed this attitude of caring deeply, but only about the bits that count. And he got rather frustrated with me, as I think it’s just inherent in who he is.
Finally he said, ‘Listen, I have no idea most of the time what’s going on up here (pointing at his mind), so I try to pay as little attention to it as possible. Knowing that someone else’s mind is just as crazy, maybe more so, and then being worried about what that someone else thinks about me is lunacy”.
It helped me immensely and I hope it helps you. I did a little drawing to describe the process, it’s what I draw when I am teaching kids that caring what other people think is a total waste of time. Seeing it mapped out seems to make it sink in a little deeper.
Sent with love,