We recently got our daughters school report back. There are lots of columns marking all the different areas, how she worked, what results she got, how that rated her in regards to the class and so on. She was confused I barely glanced at her end results and marks or how she compares to the class, and instead went deeply into discussing where she felt she went well and we went over how she applied herself through her eyes, and through the eyes of her teacher.
And she’s applied herself really well. But if you look at her marks, apparently she’s average. How she is bringing herself to her work though, is dedicated, determined and dynamic.
It’s taking a lot of work to undo the constant stream of comparison and grading that our school systems bang into her. There is no such thing as ‘success’. And we need to stop addressing it as academia lone. It carries through to corporate workplaces deeply. Who you are at work, is rarely acknowledged as long as you’re getting the results. But this thank god is shifting. With the work I do in workplaces, I am seeing huge shifts in not just attitudes and outcomes, but a thirst to do things differently from the outset. The old paradigms are dying. Success is no longer you hitting a target or completing a project bitter, destroyed and falling into a heap at the end. It’s more and more how you hold yourself throughout, how aligned you are, and how you work with those around you, as well as conversations around the target or project set very early on. Is it realistic, can we achieve it, what happens when we don’t and what happens when we do? All of this depends on how we value and evaluate success. It’s around personal acceptance, understanding and better communication.
‘Making the unknown known’ in this context can mean bringing into the light who you really are in each moment and turning your barometer of success around. Are we embodying integrity, are we determined and passionate and seriously applying ourselves? Or are we instead of being cranky, resentful and slack? Are we enjoying what we do, and being of service, and bringing our best self to each day? Or are we hating it, but doing nothing to change it, and filtering all this negativity through to everyone else?
I think shining a harsh light on the ‘unknown’ (but incredibly obvious), and reevaluating success is not just needed but imperative. Because we are continuing to pass the old paradigms down to our children, and they and we, deserve better.
(Gets off soapbox).
Sent with love,