L E T T E R – Working With Fear Part 1; Adopted Fears – The Broad Place

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L E T T E R – Working With Fear Part 1; Adopted Fears

Arran, Emily and I get so exhausted by all the ‘Be Fearless’s self-improvement mush that is shoved down everyone’s throats these days! So I asked Emily to come and be interviewed by me for our Gathering that was on Sunday and to share ideas and discuss why fear is important and how we can work with it instead of being crippled by it! This is a huge topic, so I am going to break it down over a few days.

Firstly, let’s face it, fear keeps us alive. It’s actually vital. Instead of trying to shove our fears away and pretend to be brave, we suggest embracing them, working with them and experimenting with your fears.

When it comes to fear, a lot of times, they’re not actually our own fears, but we have adopted fears from other people. Usually our parents. It can also be friends, social groups, community, and definitely media that drives fear. Dealing with our own fear is honestly enough, so we want to get a lot of clarity around this. Peeling back the onion layers of fear can bring us to the truth of fear.

Grant, one of our students contributed yesterday that he asks himself, ‘whose voice is that?’ when fear creeps in. This is a way to work out if this is MY actual fear or an adopted fear! He had a work-related fear that he had discovered was actually the voice of his mum coming into play. It was undermining his confidence and once identified, he could drop.

I have personally learned this so many times, with weird subconscious fears that have created anxiety or friction for me, only to learn once diving in that they weren’t actually real fears for me, just something I had picked up along the way. It’s like carrying someone else’s carry on luggage but not realising you had it, and your own. That gets rather heavy and cumbersome. So dropping them right away became easy!

Asking ‘whose voice is this?’ Is a beautiful way to unravel your fears and leave what’s not yours behind.

Sent with love,

Jac x

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