L E T T E R from Jac – The Discomfort Of Boundaries – The Broad Place

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L E T T E R from Jac – The Discomfort Of Boundaries

One of the very common pitfalls of self development and spirituality is spiritual bypass. Spiritual bypass is where spiritual practice is used sidestep with what’s really happening. ‘Non attachment’ for example being used as a way to disengage with what’s actually happening. ‘Equanimity’ which means ultimately balance, as a method of avoidance. ‘Compassion’ as a method to constantly fix and work on everyone else. Being self righteous about one’s own path/techniques/practices instead of accepting there are millions of ways to go about life. And the big one, pretending all is ‘fine and just evolution’ when in fact you’re upset, angry, grieving, but for ’spiritual reasons’ trying not to engage with these emotions. If you want to see something hilarious about spiritual bypass, watch THIS.

A lack of boundaries seem to be a huge part of spiritual bypass. Because people are being told to ‘love everyone’, and ‘show compassion and kindness’ boundaries can become very grey indeed. So I wanted to invite you to consider where you might not be clear about yourself, and therefore your boundaries. What old conditioning or new spiritual language might be messing up your ability to clearly set boundaries. If you’re not used to setting boundaries, it can be upsetting for some people in your life when you do. Remember a boundary set gently, is easier to uphold than one set in anger. A boundary set with a clear idea of why you’re setting it, is much simpler to stick to than one you are unclear about. And, if you express yourself clearly in each moment around this, then you don’t build up the energy and resentment that can then block you from being clear in the future. 

With love,

Jac x

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